May 2020
Dear LGBTQ Community of the Sebastopol Area,
In this blog, I address the unique challenges of being LGBTQ during the coronavirus. I also share resources for you to stay connected with our LGBTQ community.
Even though the Senior Center building is currently closed, our staff is still working making good things happen for you. I help arrange rides to doctor and shopping appointments for seniors who don't drive anymore. I'm also working with 29 volunteers to deliver free meals to seniors who are sheltering-in-place. If you need a ride or would appreciate getting a five-pack of lunches delivered to your door each week, please let me know. Just call or write to me, my email and phone number are listed below.
We also offer many online classes, workshops, and lectures now. We even offer a Zoom Chair Yoga class! I'll tell you how to get access to these listing as well.
I am very proud to share this news: We have three brand new online senior groups starting.
1- Senior Men's gay/bi/trans online Zoom support group
This facilitated group will begin Thursday, June 18 and will continue weekly on Thursdays from 4:00-5:00 p.m. Registration required; sign up here. Facilitated by John Olesen.
2- Senior Women's lesbian/bi/trans online Zoom support group
No start date yet for this group, but sign up here to receive more info!
3- Heart Circle online Zoom group for Seniors
This popular group returns via Zoom! We will begin this group on Thursday, June 25 and it will continue monthly on the 4th Thursdays from 1:30-3 p.m. Facilitated by John Olesen. Registration required; sign up here.
Zoom is a software platform that runs on a computer or smartphone that enables groups of people to be together online. You can listen to the teacher or share with each other.
The best way to get the updates for when these groups start is to be sure you are an eBlast newsletter subscriber, it's free! It's the news of the Sebastopol Senior Center that gets emailed to you each week. It's filled with great resources and more information about the online classes we offer. Go here to sign up:
https://www.sebastopolseniorcenter.org/
I know we have been hit pretty hard by the changes due to the coronavirus. Especially for us in the LGBTQ community.
LGBTQ older adults are more likely to be socially isolated. That could be for a number of reasons: we are less likely to have partners, we are definitely less likely to have children and grandchildren, and they are the built-in caregivers in our society.
It's shocking all the things we are missing out on. Last year the Sebastopol Senior Center had a float in the Santa Rosa Pride Parade, and we won a first-place trophy! This year that event is canceled, along with all the social activities for the month of gay pride, June. So many events are gone. This is unprecedented to have gay pride disappear.
Like you, I had my summer events all planned out, and every one of them has been canceled.
One study found that for gay men that, "Many said lockdowns had impacted their mental health, with 72% experiencing anxiety since the pandemic began and 24% feeling very lonely."
Some of you might be old enough to remember when society called AIDS the "gay plague." It took us years to understand that it was not gay at all. I remember getting my first HIV test and the fear that might be positive. In 1986 that could have meant death. You can see the similarity here with coronavirus. If I catch it I could die, just like HIV before the cocktail medicines were developed. That is why gay folks in my generation are getting triggered, they are getting flashbacks to that dreadful time when our friends were dying. As the author notes from the article below,
"I relived the emotional urgency of sensing the impending danger."
They say 50% of us LGBTQ folk are single. So for us, sheltering-in-place is more likely alone, which can be a real challenge. I have friends who have been alone in their home for 9 weeks, with friends and family dropping by off groceries at their front door and staying 6 feet away.
Finally, an article addressing the issues facing us single folks. This article is very up to date with dating during the coronavirus. It's really all about risk reduction. As we take strides to prevent the virus from spreading, let's maintain intimacy in our lives in an open, honest, sex-positive, and caring manner. We can do both and live better for our decision.
Gays have always dealt with risks: The risk in coming out, the risk of getting beat up for revealing who we really are, the risk of getting fired, even kissing could get us arrested.
"Throughout the last century, LGBT men and women were forced to assess the risks of desire. Long before AIDS, we cruised and sought out sex partners in a hostile world. A wrong move or misplaced trust could bring beatings, arrest, and/or blackmail, leading to the loss of livelihood and home. The right move brought us intimacy, pleasure, friendship, and, sometimes, love."
Just like we learned during the AIDS crisis, this article breaks down what is safe and levels of risk in connecting with other humans during COVID-19.
No risk
"Stay by yourself. Make new friends online."
Low risk
"Move in with your primary play partner. Observing a 14-day quarantine with them until you both are sure you have no symptoms or exposure will allow you to go at it once the waiting period is up."
Low-medium risk
"Observe the 14-day quarantine with a trusted partner who lives separately from you. As above, mutual honesty and trust are called for."
PROGRESSIVE NEWS FROM THE DUTCH
The Dutch government is advising its single citizens to find themselves a quarantine partner who can keep them warm at night.
https://theweek.com/speedreads/914657/netherlands-advising-single-citizens-quarantine-seksbuddy
RESOURCES for LGBTQ WOMEN
A lesbian friend shared these resources with me:
Women’s Community Events on Facebook: I't’s described as “Sisters!" This time of international pandemic and social isolation provides us with wonderful opportunities to enjoy each other and connect online”. https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenseventsonline
Are You Single?
On-line speed Dating in the San Francisco Area for Lesbians
“I attended my first speed-dating event and I had a great time! There were approximately 45 women present and I had 12 dates. I made a bunch of new friendships and a couple of possible dates.” – Danielle, Walnut Creek
Next event is Saturday May 23rd @ 330pm (check-in at 3pm)
Single Mingle starts at 330pm and runs until 530pm PDT
Please make sure to register by purchasing your ticket by clicking the link below. You will need to purchase a ticket to get the private Zoom link for the event. Click Link Below to Purchase Your Ticket ($40):
https://www.littlegaybook.com/lesbian-online-dating/
Here is a link to an online Lesbian magazine:
Stress can bring out the worst in people, especially while stuck in your home together. This article offers help for Lesbian couples in keeping their actions loving during this challenging time.
"3 Suggestions for Love in the Time of Covid-19, Lesbian Game changers"
https://www.epochalips.com/2020/04/3-suggestions-for-love-in-the-time-of-covid-19/
RESOURCES FOR MEN
I've had to let go of all the activities I had planned. Music events, theater, retreats, camp-outs, and trips. In their place I've really enjoyed connecting with folks online.
Billys Heart Circle
I am very active in an organization based here in Sonoma county for gay, bi, trans and queer men. It's called the Billys and it has been running for 32 years. Besides monthly potlucks and events, they host gatherings six times a year where up to 120 men camp out together or stay in cabins. It draws heart-centered men to an environment of love, caring, and connection. They create an environment that promotes our physical, emotional, and sexual health, safety, and well-being. You can attend workshops, heart circles, or just relax by the pool.
Unfortunately, the gatherings (and potlucks) have been canceled due to the coronavirus, and we don't know when they can return. BUT, the Billys have launched online zoom calls for weekly heart circles which have been really helpful to keep the community connected. They also host online talent shows. Sign up for their email newsletter, then you be able to take part in the online activities like their weekly zoom heart circle and zoom talent shows.
Go here to get on the email list: https://thebillys.org/contact/
Another group for men is the California Men's gathering (CMG). They also have online zoom calls, games, and other events for men. Follow that like to sing up for their emails: https://thecmg.info/
FOR WOMEN & MEN
Instructor: Gary “Buz” Hermes MA | LGBT Aging Consultant
Buz has facilitated workshops, classes, and discussion groups for the LGBT community for over thirty years. He now loves sharing his passion for empowering aging strategies with his LGBT peers. More bio info at https://profiles.santarosa.edu/gary-hermes.
THURSDAYS June 18 to August 6, 2020 11 am - 1 pm Offered On-Line via Zoom
"This course is designed to engage older adults in lively discussions such as consumer issues, current events, healthy aging, and literature. A supportive learning community encourages the expression of thoughts and feelings, deepening of understanding, and openness to new ideas and divergent perspectives. The course develops effective communication skills and enhances the quality of life."
For more information or to register: ghermes@santarosa.edu or (707) 227-6935
THE HAPPY ENDING
Many LGBT folks in Hollywood did not have a happy ending. This show reimagines how it might have been. If you love a happy endings for famous LGBTQ movie stars, check out the new LGBT TV show, "Hollywood."
Please contact me if there is anything I can do you for.
Sincerely,
Scotty King, Transportation Coordinator | LGBTQ Liaison
707-827-8429 direct
707-829-2440 main